neither lost nor found
by displayheartcode
Summary: What is absolute? The sun that your soul reflects, the love that binds us together, and the hope that we'll meet again.


**AN: I'm baaack! Finals are done, and I've officially declared my minor! Summer is going to be busy because I need to fulfill this time sensitive requirement, but let's see how things go.**

 **This has been brought to you by tumblr (which you should all follow me on and leave ficlet requests in my ask box).**

 **Title:** neither lost nor found

 **Disclaimer:** Totally not Leigh Bardugo. I haven't even read the last book yet.

 **Word Count:** 944

 **Summary:** What is absolute? The sun that your soul reflects, the love that binds us together, and the hope that we'll meet again.

* * *

 _i._

She was burying a part of her soul in the hard ground.

It's dark and cold, the bitter warnings of winter could reach her bones. The hollow feeling of death felt colder, more intimate as she saw the coffin being lowered. A soft wind stirred the remains of the frost, making the candlelight flicker as shadows descended around them.

Mal's grave was simple, just as it should be. A basic slab of stone with his name, the dates, but the engraving of the blade was her request. They had joked about it before, years and years before his mind had decayed with age, under the covers as she traced the tattoo that marked his skin.

But that was gone now.

No more jokes being traded over dinner, no more bringing home fresh game even in the darkest of winters, no more feeling his large hand caress her back as she slowly drifted back to sleep. She had seen him age before her eyes, the fair hair growing paler, his smile staying the same as his face grew in wrinkles and aged-spots.

 _Fate_ , Alina decided as she curled her young hands in the folds of her skirt, _is cruel and unforgiving._

The shoveling started.

 _ii_.

He was only trying to find the neighbor's damn dog.

Mikhail cursed as he tried to avoid the large and deep patches of mud. Bright leaves and dried branches crunched under his feet, the tracks left by the energetic hound were scattered throughout the forest floor.

Sunlight was disappearing fast, giving the area a feeling of deep mystery that suited the stories well. The thick groupings of trees grew more menacing in the dark, allowing those stories to echo in his mind about witches and demons and saints. Those images used to weave through his dreams, the ones about shadows coming to life and a brave girl that could pluck sunlight from the sky who could banish the monsters away.

"Don't go into the woods, Misha," his mother had warned him when he was little. "Stay in the sunlight where they can't touch you."

Miklhail was no longer the little boy, but he couldn't help but mutter a line to Sankta Alina for more time. There was something about the dark that left him afraid, as if there was something hiding in them, watching his every move… He slowly turned around to be sure…

"Are you lost?"

Mikhail gasped and fell in the mud ungracefully.

Everything about the mysterious woman was pale, like the ghosts that were rumored to hide in the woods. Her hair and skin were white expect for her dark eyes and the bits of the forest that clung to her trousers and jacket. She tucked some of her hair behind her ear, the last of the sun's rays glinting off something that was on her neck, and crouched low, extending a hand to help him up.

When their fingers touched, Mikhail could have sworn that he felt the sun.

 _iii_.

"Do you believe in soulmates?" Max whispered into her neck, his voice low. His touch warmed the amplifier on her neck, something that she able to pass off as an odd fashion accessory, and traced the line of her jaw with his thumb.

Alina closed her eyes and relaxed into his familiar touch. "Do you?" she asked back, feeling hope unfurling in her chest. He could never remember her in any of the lifetimes that she knew him as. If he did, then they were fleeting and brief, and always caused her pain. A phrase here, a reference there, but everything buried under the weight of his various incarnations.

But she had hope. Maybe one day…

Alina turned around to see Max slowly surveying her. His blue eyes were always unchanging. His hair may be blond one lifetime, or red the next; or his skin could be brown or freckled; or he could be short and stocky, or tall and gangly in another; but it was the same azure gaze that sent her mind tumbling through the memories of their times together.

 _I know you,_ she had always wanted to say, but the fear kept her at bay. _And you know me. We are halves of a whole, you silly tracker._

"I don't know," he admitted almost mulishly. He peered through his dark eyelashes, ones that were long enough to leave shadows on his face. "I think I want to."

Alina nearly smiled. "Congratulations, you have yourself a soulmate."

 _iv._

Mark's head whipped to the left.

The woman had her hand clapsed over her mouth, the other pressed against the wall to keep herself up as he knee visibly shook.

Confused, he didn't look at her again and continued walking down the busy street.

 _v._

No one believed in magic anyone except for him.

Mitya smiled fully for the first time when the sunlight pooled in her hands. "The stories are true, then?"

"More or less. You know how things go, the truth only turns into myths and fairytales." Alina let the sunlight fade in midair, her hands falling back down. There was no harm in telling the dying the truth. No one could get hurt except for her.

"Incredi—" His word was cut short, another spasm of coughing made his entire body tremble.

Alina's smile faltered, but the monitors never showed anything different. She reached for a glass of water and handed it to him.

Managing a sip, Mitya let his head fall back into the hospital bed, and he turned his hand over for her to hold. "Tell me."

And she did.


End file.
